You know how picking up the phone and having an *actual* conversation (that doesn’t include emojis) makes us want to collectively jump off a bridge? I feel like speaking to strangers is sort of the same thing. I like to believe there was a time, decades ago, when people meandered through their day, striking up small talk with anyone they happen to meet. Does anyone do this anymore? When was the last time you proactively started a conversation with someone you have never met?
I’ve been trying to do this—chatting with my TJ’s checker about citrus season and saying hello to each person I pass on my run. Though the thought of these interactions makes me a little squeamish (I’m an introvert who is really good at masquerading as an extrovert), in practice they always elevate my mood.
Creating dialogue with a bartender is a perfect example. You belly up to the bar, thinking you just want to enjoy your cocktail in peace while you scroll mindlessly through your feeds. Then the bartender goes and starts ASKING YOU THINGS. I thought we had a deal! You make me a lovely beverage and don’t acknowledge my presence again until my glass is empty. Right?
When I got into cocktails, I had to let go of this narrative. I started to answer the bartender’s questions, and I asked my own. In this little sliver of time you develop a relationship with someone who was a stranger mere moments ago. I let go of the security blanket of silence.
This very thing happened a few weeks ago when I stopped into a bar for a quick drink before dinner. Armand, the bartender, started asking me all sorts of questions, and I leaned into the conversation instead of out. He made me this tasty cocktail, we talked shop, and I left with a little more pep in my step (not just from the booze).
Maybe talking to our bartenders can be the first step in creating micro relationships with strangers. Try it the next time you order a drink at a quiet bar. Chances are, you’ll come away with more than just a great cocktail.
Crypto Currency
- .75 oz @hendricksgin gin
- .5 oz @aperolusa
- .5 oz @fernetfrancisco
- squeeze of lemon
Assembly
Combine all in a shaker w/ ice; strain into a coupe. Garnish with a lemon peel.